Word: bumper
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...next time I come in contact with someone so obviously deranged, I may not be able to restrain my desire to strangle him. I doubt there is or will be a cure, but anality should definitely be treated as a disease, and Harvard should be able to provide a bumper crop of poster children for the first telethon...
...something in my mind must have snapped that fateful day, and I found myself more and more wanting to hurt others as I had been hurt--to force little old ladies to climb street lights, to catch baby carriages on my car's bumper and push them down the street at breakneck speed, and to turn normally healthy young Harvard students into quivering lumps of processed vegetable matter. At the same time I wanted to force all Honda drivers into trees and make garbage trucks do triple Louganis spins into brick walls. My plan would accomplish all this, and more...
...Gore for Vice President? You won't see any bumper stickers bearing those words. No presidential candidate worth his matching funds would admit that his wish list has room for second place. When the subject came up at a press conference last week, Gore looked as though he had sniffed a skunk in church. Four times in 90 seconds, he declared, "I have no interest." He is, Gore insists, a national candidate for the presidency, not merely a regional entry or would-be power broker...
...lobstering without a license. "I want to see if any of my buddies are in there," says Carmen Griffin, a waitress at the Pineland Diner on Main Street. It may be a yawn in Portland, Me., but in Ellsworth, it's front-page news when there's a bumper crop of scallops or the cops seize a pet snake (the headline: POLICE PUT PERMITLESS PET PYTHON...
...television to reassure a frightened world that someone at the White House was in charge. Sweating, a crack in his voice, he uttered the immortal words, "I am in control here." He came off like a character from Dr. Strangelove, and has never been allowed to forget it. Bumper stickers were recently spotted bearing a mushroom cloud with the slogan HAIG FOR PRESIDENT. LET'S GET IT OVER WITH...