Word: burp
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...tourist industries are booming. So why not learn from our foreign friends and make our own special brand of rudeness part of the "American experience?" It could be a real windfall. We can export t-shirts emblazoned with "America Says You're An Idiot!" decals. Or mugs that burp when you finish your drink. Or those foam fingers with one particular digit extended. At the very least we know they'd sell awfully well in France...
...that random hook-up, the abiding regret which neither liquor nor denial can purge, is that while not looking (the better part of that night was spent not looking), a lady friend downloaded Snood onto the computer. For the uninitiated, Snood is a silly game of cartoon canons that burp out cuddly-faced symbols, a game which so many call “infectious” but I call “incurable...
...resourceful Harvard undergraduate, if someone handed me a newborn child and sent me home, I wouldn’t have the slightest clue what to do. Though I’m sure I would eventually figure out how to feed and burp the child, as well as rock him or her to sleep, the goals of fostering good behavioral habits along with quality intellectual development would probably be lost somewhere between the baby crying and me trying to make dinner while finishing my homework. Good parenting is not an innate trait, and is even less so under stressful situations...
...meantime, Sutter must endure and write up this Talcott festival for his Internet employer of the moment: "A bloodless edit will follow...and one day an electronic burp with his byline will float up into the Web morass, a little bubble of content he will never...
...years to make contributions to charity. "We want him to learn the joy of giving," said Douglas. But can you imagine the awkwardness in the room as celebrities pulled out their checkbooks to give thousands of dollars to a newborn who can't do anything but burp and vomit...