Word: burtonizing
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...BURTON Lucky Clinton. Not since Robert E. Lee has a man been blessed with such a series of inept enemies...
...Webster Hubbell had really said, as Dan Burton's creative transcript had it, "The Riady is just not easy to do business with me while I'm here," what language was he supposed to be speaking? Did people on the staff of Burton's Government Reform and Oversight Committee actually take that to be an English sentence? Do they talk that way themselves? Outside of chairman Burton's earshot, do they say things like "The Burton are just too much of loony to conduct this investigation...
...news for Burton-bashers: The pit bull's still with us. A bid to oust the outspoken Indiana Republican failed Wednesday when Burton used his power as chairman of the House committee on governmental reform and oversight to quash ranking Democrat Henry Waxman's motion. And despite Waxman's vow to take it to the floor of the House, it looks as if Burton has finally weathered the storm over his recent editing of the Web Hubbell tapes. One small success for the Democrats: They managed to block Burton's attempt to give immunity to four potential committee witnesses, whom...
...Burton thinks the White House bugs his phone. Dan Burton is so convinced Vince Foster was murdered that he brought a pistol into the backyard of his Indiana home and reenacted the crime -- reportedly with a pumpkin standing in for Foster's head. Dan Burton is so afraid of catching AIDS that he brings his own scissors to the House barbershop and refuses to eat soup at public restaurants. But the man who will do or say anything to nail Bill Clinton suddenly has the worst problem a paranoiac can have: He keeps making more enemies. And they...
...Even more egregious: Where Hubbell says the word "reality", Burton substitutes "Riady." A Freudian slip, no doubt. Burton's explanation? "When you've got 150 hours of tape and you've got to condense it down to an hour," he told reporters, "obviously you're going to do some things that some people are concerned about." Whether that will quell the demands for his resignation from the chairmanship remains to be seen...