Word: burtons
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There are a number of questions and controversies surrounding last month's Undergraduate Council presidential and vice-presidential elections, but we can draw only one conclusion from the confusion: Fentrice D. Driskell '01 and John A. Burton '01 overspent the campaign limit of $100, broke the election rules and should have been, but were not, disqualified by the Election Commission for their offenses...
While Election Commissioner David L. Levy '00 seems unable to keep his story straight as to whether or not the campaign overspent their $100 limit (his latest claim is that the campaign spent around $93), according to the commission's own rules, Driskell and Burton should have been found to exceed the cap. To begin with, they produced dozens of campaign buttons consisting of pieces of yellow paper taped over buttons obtained from a student group. Candidates have done this in previous years with other groups' buttons but have always been charged a fee for doing so because the pins...
...jump-cut to 1990, when they sell an original comedy about a bad seed called Problem Child but become dejected by the unfunny film that is made. To cheer themselves up, they write a spec script about the worst auteur in cinema history, Ed Wood. Batman director Tim Burton reads it and signs on, and when the movie garners critical praise, the guys decide to stick with their new formula. "Most biopic pitches you hear in Hollywood are about 'The first person to blah-blah-blah,'" says Columbia's executive vice president of production, Michael Costigan, who oversaw The People...
Obviously the margin of Fentrice Driskell and John Burton's election makes the situation difficult. A new election is out of the question and would only waste time and result in low participation...
Therefore I suggest that John Burton not be allowed to take his office as vice president and whoever the second place finisher is be allowed to assume the office instead. Ms. Driskell should also be given immunity from being impeached by the council for anything connected to the campaign finance scandal. People will be alienated and upset if either both Driskell and Burton are allowed to assume office or if they are both barred from holding office. I believe that a compromise such as the one listed above is needed for the good of the already ailing and extremely weak...