Word: butter
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...real thorn in his side is that Peter contracted HPV along the way, so now DA is a shoo-in for ear, nose and throat cancer. To get back at him, DA made PB&Js for Peter’s lunch, but he used the crunchy peanut butter. One would think that after thirteen years, DA would know that Peter is extremely allergic to peanuts. Ever since the two of us were accepted into Harvard—Peter by a stroke of dumb luck and DA by the broad strokes of lies that he used to paint his application?...
...food is eaten with a steamed flatbread called “injera” — and no silverware. Platters of food are traditionally lined with the bread, which gets its characteristic spongy quality from a day-long fermentation process. The resulting dough is then steamed without any butter or oil to become a squishy pancake with the tang of San Francisco sourdough and a buckwheat-like flavor from a special grain called “maskal teff,” used instead of wheat flour. I had done a little research before setting out and arrived expecting...
...little creative work with dining hall food you can whip up whatever your heart desires. Where did you get that amazing grilled chicken Caesar salad? I’m pretty sure I didn’t see that dish being served. While I struggle to find the appropriate peanut butter to jelly ratio, you are creating a masterful tuna melt sandwich. One time I even saw you walk up to the microwave with a cheeseburger, two baby carrots, and a handful of Toastie Os cereal and somehow pull out what looked to be a medium rare filet mignon 45 seconds...
...think a 56 game hitting streak is impressive? Well the “Joe DiMaggio Award for Culinary Consistency” is awarded to the student who has eaten the exact same food for 74 straight meals. That peanut butter and banana sandwich he makes must be pretty damn good considering his shocking devotion to it. I have to assume that he has some medical condition that requires him to eat a peanut butter and banana sandwich every day, because I honestly cannot think of another scenario where you would actually choose to eat one of those over the dining...
...corner of my eye shaking her head in disapproval of my fork selection. I’m convinced this is the same person who told on me for committing the atrocious crime of using the knife assigned for the margarine container in the butter container. I don’t make faces and judge her when she eats her sweet and sour tofu, barbecue tofu, tofu casserole, and tofu stroganoff. Stereotyping people based off the food that they eat is just immature, ignorant, and unfair, and I simply will not stand...