Word: cappy
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Myself, I believe in it. I've been searching for a girl named Cappi Copeland since I moved from Dallas at the age of ten, and I was secretly sure that Cappi would be waiting there in Smith along with Dave's ex-Iowan classmate. In fact I was sure that Dave's date was Cappi. Sure, maybe she changed her name and forgot that she'd ever known me, but under my magic gaze the mists would part, Dave would step aside, and Cappi would step into my arms, lithe and beautiful. Nevertheless, I couldn't take chances, couldn...
...hopes soared. Maybe that was why Cappi hadn't called me. She was still beautiful, still svelte, still smelled like rasberry tootsie pops and Sprite, still loved me, and didn't want to frighten me in the way that we were frightening Dave. I admired her intelligence. How clever, I thought, to pretend she was somebody that Dave knew, to let Dave suffer insults, let Dave wonder what monstrosity was lurking at the other end of the line to swallow him up in its beasty claws. Dave could fret, Dave could drive, and Dave would step aside when Cappi threw...
Then, there it was: "East Hampton--Next Exit." My heart thumped; would it be true? Would Cappi be there? Or was I wrong? Maybe it really was the girl Dave had once known, maybe I was the hapless victim of my own nostalgic fantasies. Or was Dave the victim?--maybe Adam's brutal sexual slurs were thorougly accurate, and Dave's virility was about to be trampled by an Iowan heavyweight with a five dollar halo floating above her pimply head. We would soon know...
Then, there on the terrace, dimly visible behind a cloudy glass door, was a skirted figure. I frantically began adding years to my mental picture of Cappi, praying for a match. But beside me, Dave's face was lighting up. The door opened, and the two Iowan's smiled at each other. A thick wholesome glow suffused the terrace as they shook hands, sparkles flashing from their corn polished teeth, drowning out Adam's smirk and my vision of Cappi. She wasn't Cappi and she wasn't fat. I had been betrayed, Adam had lost five dollars, Dave...
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