Word: carded
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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With the onset of universal keycard access, proper swiping techniques are more important than ever. A clean and confident swipe says "Respect me, I have security clearance." While most card-carries are familiar with the swift, downward stroke of the basic swipe, many also become panicked when this fundamental method fails. Below, FM's emergency guide to swipology...
...scientist can tell you, when at first you don't succeed, reverse the polarities. Try swiping from the bottom real slow-like. This fools the card reader into letting you in where a normal swipe won't do. This maneuver forms the basis for several more complicated routines, such as the "Double-Dip" and "The One-armed Seizure...
This advanced technique is reserved for those who carry their keycards around their necks. Heavily influenced by Eastern philosophy, this no-hands approach will be the envy of all once perfected. Dangle your card at the bottom of the reader until it catches. with a quick jerk of the neck, whip the card up and out of the slot. When executed correctly, you may feel a sharp pain in the small of the back--have no fear, this will be quickly soothed by the glowing accolades from you colleagues...
...Brown considers his policy one of common sense. "Out of self-preservation," he says, he set up his own system. Now about 100 local residents have sat for mug shots, agreed to let Brown talk to their physicians, and walked away with a "City of Arcata Proposition 215 Identification Card." Flash it as you are toking up and you won't be arrested, unless you've got more than 10 marijuana plants--a limit imposed to distinguish users from illegal dealers...
Over the past few years, I have developed the bad habit of writing down notes on scraps of paper, inserting them into pockets of my wallet and then completely forgetting their whereabouts. A spring cleaning of my wallet recently turned up the business card of an Icelandic air-traffic controller, several unnamed phone numbers and a plethora of crumpled receipts, each bearing some scrawled epiphany that time has rendered completely unintelligible...