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Vampires are like health care plans: everybody has his own idea about how they should work. Grahame-Smith's are inhumanly strong and only mildly fazed by sunlight. Like the vamps of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, they appear human until they show their true form: fangs, gross veiny blue skin and all-black eyes. Grahame-Smith describes a vampire getting his game face on: "His eyes turned black in the space of a single blink, as if the inkwells in his pupils had suddenly shattered - the spill contained behind glass." (See why zombies are the new vampires...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Critique of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter | 3/8/2010 | See Source »

...Yvolene Avril, whose father died years ago and whose mother was killed during the quake by a falling wall. Aside from two half brothers from her mother's previous relationships, Yvolene can't recall any other family members. (Since the quake, one of the boys' fathers has agreed to care for them but not for their half sister.) One of St. Louis's jobs is to try to jog Yvolene's memory by asking about things like schools she's attended, friends she's had, birthdays and other celebrations. As St. Louis interviews Yvolene, a shy, slender teen whose sentences...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: In Haiti, Aid Workers Help Orphans Find Relatives | 3/8/2010 | See Source »

...mangled limbs and shattered minds, like one about an idealistic West Point prof who went to Iraq and took his own life in disillusionment. Given Sherman's training in psychoanalysis and philosophy, it is not surprising that her prose can grow alarmingly academic at times. (Many will not care that "the distance between an Aristotelian and Stoic-inspired training for war is considerable.") Yet she successfully makes the case that, with an all-volunteer military, the public has averted its eyes from the psychic damage of our current wars. Says Sherman: "War's residue should not just be a soldier...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: The Skimmer | 3/8/2010 | See Source »

...meet with the President. We meet with the dean of FAS. We meet with the dean of the College, and they do seem to care. So our hope is they’ll restore it,” Palfrey said...

Author: By Danielle J. Kolin and Naveen N. Srivatsa, CRIMSON STAFF WRITERS | Title: Housing Budget Cuts Continue | 3/8/2010 | See Source »

Score: -20 for losing friends (who probably didn’t care about you in the first place), +10 for additional exercise, +100 for shuttles, -5 for the addiction to Shuttleboy, -10 for the minor inconveniences when the shuttle isn’t running

Author: By Melody Y. Hu, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: The Housing Market Reviews: Dunster House | 3/8/2010 | See Source »

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