Word: carnalities
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...MELISSA JOAN HART is Sabrina the Teenage Witch, yet in reality, she is neither possessed of occult powers nor even under 20. So perhaps it's not surprising that while her wholesome show is being lauded by conservative groups, Hart is busy trumpeting her carnal charms. Two weeks ago, Sabrina was honored by the Family Friendly Programming Forum and recently deemed worthy by the Parent's Television Council. Yet currently, Hart appears in Maxim modeling unwholesome ensembles and in Bikini magazine enthusing, "I like to be as naked as possible." Maybe not for families, but she sure seems friendly. ARRESTED...
...Boomer was convicted under an 1897 statute for swearing very loudly--as many as 70 times--in hearing distance of small children, after he fell out of his canoe. Also, last week a Michigan court reinstated charges against a guy named Paul Hancock for cursing at his neighbor, Sharon Carnal. If I were Jay Leno, I'd make a joke about their last names...
Fortunately, inside this too-thick book is a thin one: Bill's Story, which shows how these two were catastrophes waiting to self-destruct upon impact. Bill and Monica are equally immature, with bottomless needs, heedless narcissism and steamer trunks of emotional baggage, destined to fall into a carnal swoon hours after they met. That thong flash in the chief of staff's office, which certainly grabbed the President's attention, could have landed her in Secret Service leg irons, but to her it was just "one step further in their flirtation...
Shalit's ideas get currency these days even in magazines usually interested less in modesty than in multiple orgasms. "Modesty keeps us carnal by remystifying our relationships," trills a male columnist in this month's Mirabella. But Shalit is taking a lashing from feminists of all stripes, like conservative writer Katie Roiphe, whom Shalit criticizes in her book. "She overstates and simplifies," says Roiphe, adding of Shalit's pious tone, "I find it strange to be condescended to by a 23-year-old virgin...
...some people's design ambitions soar beyond this mundane, utilitarian conception. They venture into stimulating new territory by laying out their room for the purpose of maximizing carnal pleasure. "Love nests," "player's cribs," "pimp palaces"--there'll be no studying here...