Word: cataloger
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Other doctors are not so squeamish. A Manhattan resident was startled last year when her gynecologist handed her a catalog of nutritional supplements (complete with the physician's vendor number) as part of her annual checkup. "Patients in a doctor's office are in a particularly vulnerable situation," says Dr. John Lantos, a medical ethicist at the University of Chicago. They might feel pressured to buy the products just to please their physician. Wouldn't it be less of a conflict of interest, he wonders, only half in jest, if doctors ran a fast-food restaurant in the lobby...
...easy to compose a parody of the Peterman catalog. Its style, a bubbly kitsch of knowingness, creates surprising little fantasies that are part Harlequin Romance, part Cole Porter lyric, now and then a touch of the bodice-ripper; or when flying high, of Evelyn Waugh--a soigne escapism that is a parody of sophistication, so bad that it is great fun. All that literary ingenuity gone to sell clothes in the mail...and to end up bankrupt, besides. Sunt lacrimae rerum, as an unforgettable 'Cliffie whispered to me that night in the Club Mt. Auburn, just before Joanie Baez came...
...wife and I must be caring parents, because we've been sent "the catalog for parents who care." It is called Perfectly Safe and is devoted to creating "the perfectly safe home." It offers, for example, a venetian-blind-cord shortener (so your child won't inadvertently hang himself) and a plastic "safety film" to put over windows and glass doors ("For use during hurricanes too!"). The catalog also gives you the opportunity to "Lock out 'toilet tragedies' with...
...amazing how many things you don't realize you need until you get a catalog featuring them. My wife and I had never even discussed toilet tragedies, much less formulated a viable strategy for combatting them. And consider the Tub Rug, a temperature-sensitive bath mat on which the words TOO HOT! appear under appropriate circumstances. It is almost embarrassing to admit, but we had been using a system, devised during the 19th century, in which a parent feels the water and, if it's too hot, says...
...Perfectly Safe catalog is the least of it. Lid Loc won't scare a kid half to death, which is more than you can say for some other attempts to remove the last scintilla of risk from human experience...