Word: caveness
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...FROM U.N.C.L.E. (NBC, 10-11 p.m.). It hadda happen: "The Bat Cave Affair...
...Samaritans revolted against Alexander the Great and burned to death his prefect Andromachus. An avenging Macedonian army thereupon invaded Samaria, surrounded 300 Samaritan nobles hiding in a cave near Jericho, and by lighting fires at the entrance of the cave managed to asphyxiate the Samaritans...
...centuries the bodies lay in the innermost recesses of the cave, buried beneath a growing cover of bat dung until some Arabs, poking around in the desert in the hope of finding some salable antiquities, stumbled on the Samaritan skeletons in 1962. Digging in the dung, they unearthed jewelry, pottery and papyrus, property deeds and marriage contracts that the Samaritans had carried with them to their deaths...
Contrary to II Kings, which charges that the Samaritans abandoned the Jewish faith about 700 B.C. under Assyrian influence, the documents in the Jericho cave show that they were practicing Jews at the time of Alexander. Thus the "Samaritan schism" from the Jews has to be dated much later, probably during the 1st century before Christ, says Cross. The marriage contracts prove that the Samaritans frequently married Greeks and were Hellenized even before Alexander conquered them. A number of the nobles wore rings and seals with "lovely naked figures of Greek goddesses" as well as traditional symbols of Jewish religion...
Holy barracuda! Now, thanks to that diabolical device, the camera, the truth is out! Divested of his bat cowl, the caped crusader is none other than U.S. Federal Communications Commission Chairman E. William Henry, 37, who roared out of his cave to do a comic song-and-dance at a Multiple Sclerosis Society benefit in Washington. But an evildoer took his picture. Would the caped commissioner repeat the act before the Women's National Democratic Club as requested? Would the network archenemies of ABC-TV's Batman think the chairman was giving dastardly publicity to the bat channel...