Word: cavewoman
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...romance made laughable by Rudakova’s appalling acting. In her defense, her lines would be challenging for even the most talented of actors to deliver convincingly. In her first moment of seduction, adjusting Martin’s tie after a scuffle, Valentina delivers the line (in cavewoman monosyllables), “You fight good. But you tie bad.” She solidifies her hold over his heart in a lengthy monologue about food and a thinly veiled analogy of herself as a glass of chilled wine. For a guy who doesn’t open his soul...
...narrator of Pastoralia, the title story, has things even worse. He lives in a cave, albeit a fake one, that is an exhibit in a mysterious, at least to him, theme park. He and Janet, his cavewoman partner, are supposed to perform daily Stone Age tasks--cooking a goat, working on pictographs, grabbing and pretending to eat insects--for the benefit of spectators, but hardly anyone comes by to observe them anymore. The fax machine in the caveman's private quarters spits out ominous messages from the park management: "Those of you who have no need to be worried should...
...world that was," and the rider swerves past little dinosaur eggs hatching before his very eyes, while off to the left a two-story Tyrannosaurus rex is busily killing a tough stegosaurus. A caveman with Cro-Magnon bravado appears, confronting an 800-lb. bear. A pert little cavewoman turns meat on a spit, while her cave-baby warms his bottom beside her. Cavedaddy turns out to be the first tycoon. He invents the wheel...
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