Word: cbs
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...inside the envelope. Which means this year's fall lineup practically looks like a "Nick at Nite" schedule, filled with time-machine journeys to TV formats past: Bette Midler doing a Jack Benny?style sitcom (debuting Oct. 11) about herself, Aaron Spelling doing an '80s-style prime-time soap, CBS giving us the second remake of "The Fugitive," and the WB giving us "Hype," a "revolutionary" sketch-comedy show that looks, well, pretty much life every other sketch-comedy show to debut in the last 15 years. (And that's not even counting all the wrestling...
That's Life (CBS, 8 p.m. - all times Eastern) If the Italian American milieu in this comedy-drama were any more overfamiliar and phony, it'd be served at The Olive Garden with unlimited breadsticks and salad. In case you should ever forget the ethnicity of the characters, the soundtrack is packed with Frank Sinatra tunes, "That's Amore" and "Mambo Italiano," and there's actually a character with the surname Buttafucco (sic). That said, this series, about Lydia DeLucca (Heather Paige Kent), a 32-year-old New Jersey woman who ditches her troglodyte fianc? to go back to college...
...Dark Angel (Fox, 9 p.m.) You could tune to ABC, NBC, CBS or PBS tonight and watch a reasoned exchange between Al Gore and George W. Bush. Or you could tune in to this sci-fi action thriller and watch the reasoned exchange between star Jessica Alba's foot and the asses of several thugs twice her size. As a bioengineered superbabe on the run from a military program in a dystopic year 2020 after a terrorist attack has wiped out America's computers and started a depression - whew! - Alba is to "Dark Angel" what Keanu Reeves...
...Fugitive (CBS, 8 p.m.) Is it just me, or is seeing Tim Daly's glowering face in the ads for this remake - that's Tim Daly from "Wings" - kind of like seeing Danny DeVito as Napoleon on all those billboards in the movie "Get Shorty"? Daly may not be a natural action hero as Dr. Richard Kimble, but Mykelti Williamson at least makes a commanding Lt. Gerard. This is a competent, movielike action hour - nothing more, nothing less - that owes far more to the explosive Tommy Lee Jones movie than to the often menacing, noir-y 1960s ABC series...
...District (CBS, 10 p.m.) Damn, can that Craig T. Nelson yell! Starring as a Great White Hope police commissioner sent to clean up Washington, D.C., Nelson displays a set of pipes barely hinted at in his years on "Coach," spending the long pilot hour barking, bloviating, singing(!) and generally chewing the scenery. ?No, YOU hold on!," he screams at an incompetent police underling, one of several shiftless African Americans depicted in a cornball, overwritten drama with truly creepy racial politics. "Can you tell me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS CITY!?!? Um, how about an uninspiring lead using...