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Despite our inherent love of conflict, it's tough for most Americans to root for a group that launches its protest by chanting "Rats have Rights!" But that's exactly what the folks over at the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are planning to do outside the CBS studios during Dan Rather's evening news broadcast Friday night...
...what's got them in such a state? Well, on Wednesday's episode of CBS's hit show "Survivor," the islanders were seen hunting, grilling and, yes, eating the wild rats that populate the tropical paradise. The animal-rights group is reportedly "horrified" that the network would permit such inhumane treatment of the rats (which apparently are so numerous they run roughshod over sleeping cast members...
Unfortunately for CBS, logic does not seem to be a strong point among many protesters, a point that no doubt has the honchos at the Tiffany network sweating in their suits as they consider the other groups who might have a complaint as a result of the "Survivor" show...
...American Psychological Association: "This 'television program' (if that's what CBS insists on calling it), is wreaking havoc on the collective psyche of the American public by promoting a thoroughly unrealistic view of interpersonal interactions. How, after all, are the nation's citizens supposed to maintain functional work and personal relationships if, at the first sign of trouble, they can just 'vote someone off their island'? That might work on television, but in real life, no man is an island unto himself, and besides, pretty much nobody really lives on an island these days. Once we have worked through these...
...Crew: "We are concerned that the success of CBS's 'Survivor' program is encouraging Americans to adopt an unhealthy and unrealistic attitude toward clothing. We have been monitoring the wardrobe on the show and have not seen nearly the number of clothing changes that we would like to witness on such a popular program. After consulting with our lawyers, we have determined that we would be remiss if we did not point out to you that Americans have a basic, primitive need for many, many articles of clothing. In lots of fun and vibrant colors. We know you'll agree...