Word: cereality
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...artwork on the cereal box was meant to entertain breakfast eaters, but it wound up appalling some of them instead. A new package for General Mills' Count Chocula breakfast cereal features a rendering of Bela Lugosi from the 1931 film Dracula. Around the vampire's neck hangs a pendant that resembles a six-pointed Star of David, the symbol of Judaism. When the boxes first appeared in stores last month, offended shoppers complained to the Minneapolis-based company. After the Cleveland Jewish News (circ. 15,000) picked up the story, General Mills agreed to change the box cover...
...Eisert '88, the council worked to establish a 24-hour word-processing center and Sunday hours for Widener Library. Both efforts were successful. Political issues, such as divestment and Harvard's closed governing bodies, were debated about as hotly as whether to ask the dining halls to provide cereal at every meal...
...Reagan felt well enough the morning after her surgery to walk around her suite and to have a full breakfast of juice, papaya, bran cereal and decaffeinated coffee, the spokesman said...
...cereal is made in the shapes of things that taste good with milk--cookies and ice cream cones, for example. Should Coke become the chief breakfast drink, General Mills would have to introduce Blood-Shot-Eye-Bits, with four flavors of marshmallow rotted teeth thrown in Mary Lou Retton might have to dribble Coke on her face for the commercials...
Breakfasts will soon degenerate from the wholesome goodness of fresh cooked oatmeal into instant shots of sugar. Now that vending machines hold a future breakfast staple, one can only expect candy for breakfast, synthetic fruit for artificially sweetened hot cereal, and microwaveable concoctions of bagels, pork, eggs and grease. Then again, given the alternatives, Coke may actually be a cylinder of hope rising out of the vast wasteland created by breakfast pollutants. Burp...