Word: cereality
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With a $22 billion endowment that rose over 20 percent in the past year alone, Harvard has done what any self-respecting institution would: cut its cereal funding. Citing surveys in which students requested “more organic and soy-based options,” Harvard University Dining Services has pulled the cereal of our youth from the shelves and replaced it with a rag-tag army of Mateys, Bursts and Zings. While there are those who heartily resist this cereal coup d’etat, an equally vociferous camp welcomes the morsel metamorphosis with open arms...
Andrew: Although Chris is probably right that this cereal tastes like a natural disaster in your mouth, I’d bet that it could be useful to make rope…or something…if you ever were lost in a forest or natural park. Hemp is supposedly pretty versatile. And as for the music Phish has created over the years…I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that they’re making it, I respect that...
...purpose of patenting the comb-over was to document and preserve it for posterity,” Donald Smith explained in his acceptance speech, after receiving a pie-tin medal and box of cereal. “Comb on, brothers. Comb...
...Dartboard is somewhat of a cereal expert because as everyone who listens to her is tired of hearing, she has spent her life in the cereal capital of the world, Battle Creek, Mich., where cereal is not just a product, but a way of life...
...Dartboard is biased. But though Dartboard remains loyal to the cereal industries she grew up with, the loss she grieves the most is the beautiful squares of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (produced by General Mills—based in Minneapolis) for which the imitation falls tragically short in its strangely sugared and not very cinnamon-y recipe...