Word: cheeta
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...script, by Chris Henchy and Dennis McNicholas, honors most of the show's favorite tropes. There's the monkey-man Chaka (Jorma Taccone), a sort of humanoid Cheeta from the old Tarzan movies; the Altrusian lizard lords Enik (John Boylan) and the Zarn (voiced by Leonard Nimoy); and a huge army of the zombie-like Sleestaks - as Will sagely observes, "That's how zombies get you: volume." If fans of the TV show want a Tyrannosaurus rex to chase Rick into a cave, as in the old days, they'll get their wish. The difference is in the care taken...
Although he's nursed the slights for a few decades too long - most of his targets are dead, after all - Cheeta's comebacks have sharp teeth: Chaplin is a humorless "demi-ape"; Mickey Rooney gets pegged as "a cacophonous cartoon of glutinously faked ebullience" who basically stole Cheeta's act; and Rex Harrison ... well, frankly, his opinion of the gentlemanly English star who, as Dr. Dolittle, at least tried talking to the animals, is as mean-spirited as it is unpublishable on a family-oriented website. Far better is his elegant demolition of Mrs Fairbanks, who, he writes...
...times ego gets the better of Cheeta, who sees himself as the "true pioneer of simian thespianism." He dismisses King Kong's contributions in a few words of faint praise and neglects to acknowledge the numerous other stand-in "Cheetas" in the Tarzan movies. He's less than forthright about the biting incidents that were said to have ended his Hollywood career. And his drinking habits can't have helped either - only the onset of diabetes forced him to become a teetotaler, albeit an unrepentant one: "There's a little more dignity in sharing a couple of cocktails, some caviar...
...what raises Me Cheeta above the run-of the-rumor-mill celebrity bio is the author's refracted take on Hollywood's human wildlife. He's fascinated, for example, by their obsession with sex. Among chimpanzees, the sex act tends to be brief and to the point, whereas almost every act by a male human in the book is seen as "an attempt to attract the attention of some sexually receptive females. ... as part of its elaborate courtship displays this species has invented telephones, moving pictures, cars, music, money, organized warfare, tigerskin rugs, alcohol, mood lighting, speedboats, mink coats, cities...
...Although Cheeta's life has crossed many divides there is a final one he cannot breach: "picture a human and a chimpanzee facing each other in awkward silence ... the faint inanity of the interaction stealing over both of them. That's what fame is." Celebrity memoirs that come to such highflown conclusions usually deserve a rude noise; Me Cheeta, though, should be greeted with hoots of approval...