Word: childrene
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Dates: during 1960-1969
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Born in Hawaii, Hoppe grew up in San Francisco, earned a Harvard liberal arts degree in 1949, then joined the Chronicle as a copy boy. He has been married to his childhood sweetheart for 23 years, likes to cruise with his wife and four children on their three "yachts" -two eight-foot sailboats and a 14-footer. His column now appears in 100 newspapers, and he is embarrassed by how easily he can pick up an extra $1,100 any time he gives a lecture. Hoppe gets his ideas for five columns a week, he says, by "reading through...
Ginott's basic point is that mature parents can easily increase their sensitivity to their children, becoming demi-psychologists who seek out the source of a child's behavior rather than concentrate on its surface expression. With a little common sense, he insists, children of any age can be intelligently decoded. When they refuse to cooperate with a mother getting ready for the evening, she should be alert for more than ordinary balkiness and attempt to sympathize with whatever is bothering them. One kindly mother in that situation, Ginott reports, calmed her kids by saying...
Ginott also urges parents to realize how easily their children read many levels into the most innocent remarks. Don't tell a cooperative child, "You are always so good-you are an angel," he warns; a child knows he is not always perfect, and is likely to feel anxiety under "an obligation to live up to the impossible...
...checks." Ginott advises them to express their "anger without insult," and describe the offense candidly and explicitly: "When I see cards, soda bottles and potato chips scattered all over the floor, it makes me feel unpleasant. It actually makes me angry." When the point is made clearly enough, most children will calmly decide to repair the damage without hurt feelings. "Our anger has a purpose: it shows our concern," Ginott writes. "Failure to get angry at certain moments indicates indifference, not love...
...life his new book reveals him as tartly oldfashioned. He abhors early dating, for example. "The ones who enjoy such spectacles as paired parties for twelve-year-olds, padded bras for eleven-year-olds, and going steady for an ever younger age are adults to whom the clumsiness of children looks cute." He is against marijuana, at least until harsh legal penalties are relaxed, and urges parents to suggest moderate alternatives when teenage behavior is likely to hurt others. He approvingly quotes a father who told his son: "If you feel high, ask your date to drive or call...