Word: chimneyed
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...British throne in 1901, famously announced a break with the smoke-free policies of his mother Queen Victoria by uttering the words: "Gentlemen, you may smoke." Ulysses S. Grant's cigar habit proved his undoing, saddling him with the throat cancer that killed him. And Freud was a chimney: Patients on his couch had to endure not only running commentary about their suppressed Oedipal complexes but the acrid stench from his 20-a-day cigar habit (which ultimately killed...
...voice has both the sexual authority that might reduce a plutocrat to Jell-O and the little-girl smile that let her listeners in on the fun. "Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree / For me. / Been an awful good girl, Santa baby, / So hurry down the chimney tonight. ... Come and trim my Christmas tree / With some decorations bought at Tiffany. / I really do believe in you. / Let's see if you believe in me. ... Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex/ And checks. / Sign your X on the line, Santa cutie / And hurry down...
...extra energy not spent on studying for midterms. Nothing gets the holiday message across better than the perfect $5 gag gift from CVS. And beautifying your sad white walls by covering them with paper snowflakes is a legitimate procrastination method. Ask anyone. Besides, anxiously anticipating Santa coming down my chimney really tops off all those preparation efforts. Okay, maybe I just want to be five again. But in all honesty, the magic of Christmas doesn’t have to die when you become a slave to the Harvard system. Embrace the warm and fuzzy feeling—you?...
Simon H. Rich (SHR): Am I the youngest writer ever? That can’t be true, the show’s been on for 100 years. That’s before child labor laws, so there must have been chimney sweeps and God knows what...
...celebrated for its wine taverns, fine fish restaurants and water sports. Geraniums peak from window boxes; the cobblestone streets are meticulously swept clean each morning. The only thing the casual visitor might find mildly unnerving is the squawk of storks from their huge nests on the old town's chimney tops...