Word: chimp
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...movie. Project X is the best thriller about monkeys since the original King Kong and a touching parable about parenting to boot. In a Wisconsin research lab, Teri MacDonald (Helen Hunt) is teaching sign language to her prize pupil, a chimpanzee named Virgil (beautifully played -- no kidding -- by a chimp named Willie). After two years, Virgil is shipped to an Air Force base in Florida for a top-secret experiment shepherded by Jimmy Garrett (Broderick), a bright, goof-off airman who develops the same parental bond for Virgil that Teri had. Soon Teri, the Mary Beth Whitehead of primate research...
...Immunologist Bernard Moss, contained only a tiny portion of genetic material from the AIDS virus. This material was inserted into the genes of a larger, harmless virus, which served as a carrier. (The larger virus was vaccinia, once commonly used to prevent smallpox.) When tested in baboons and a chimp for one year, this hybrid stimulated the animals to produce antibodies not only to vaccinia but to the AIDS virus, with no apparent side effects...
...Orgasmically Speaking, something upscale and tony like that. Horny housewives and bored cabbies can tune in as I deftly field anguished queries from Marvin of Hackensack, whose penis apparently swivels too much to the left, and Elsie of Batavia, who cannot achieve the Big O unless there's a chimp in the room. Naturally, I would take the high ground, quelling all this genital turmoil by declaring everyone normal, including the chimp, and instructing all listeners to "Go for it!" -- with contraceptives, of course. I would then startle my rapt audience by revealing that sex is nothing to be ashamed...
...fact, the first thing a viewer of the new film has to do is take a machete to his comfortable expectations about the Ape Man. Banish beefy Johnny Weissmuller, his predecessors and his heirs from your mind; rethink Jane; forget Boy; above all, abandon hope that Cheeta the chimp will skitter on to provide not only the movie's best acting but its only conscious comic relief as well. All of that was admittedly fun, as if the cast of a suburban sitcom had been dropped down in the African hinterlands, told to undress and act natural. But Burroughs...
...Tony Award; by his own hand (he shot himself); in Flower Hill, N.Y. His most memorable film role was that of the deceitful U-boat captain in Alfred Hitchcock's Lifeboat (1944), but he may be better known today as Ronald Reagan's co-star-with a chimp-in the 1951 Bedtime for Bonzo...