Word: chiropodist
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...wife, Joyce (Maggic Smith), never ceases to grind this fact into Gilbert's muddled brain. Gilbert vainly tries to advance himself as a chiropodist, i.e. someone who scrapes corns and fungus off the bottoms of other's feet, but he attracts the hatred of the local surgeon, Dr. Swaby (Denholm Elliott), who unceremoniously boots him out of his office. At this point Gilbert decides to go undercover...
Screenwriter Alan Bennett has described A Private Function as "the fulfillment of his long-held desire to write about a chiropodist and (Director Malcolm) Mowbray's wish to direct a film about a pig." In fact, they have larger issues to lance. Although the film is set during Clement Attlee's Labor reign, it applies just as ferociously to Margaret Thatcher's pinchpenny Britain. With its double-edged title and its tone of bitter whimsy, A Private Function asks to be taken as a hymn to the meanness of the human spirit, in ) which the one decent soul...
...goes is this: the Selective Service tells the students that they can only go to college for four years. No more graduate school, unless you want to be something helpful, like a doctor, or a dentist, or a veterinarian, or an osteopath, or an optometrist, or a chiropodist, or a minister, or a research scientist. Or, you can be something else helpful, like a farmer, or an apprentice riveter, or a glass-blower, or the Vice President of the United States. The Selective Service makes the rules: how sick you can be, how crazy, how tall, how immoral, how ignorant...
Ireland admits to feeling a "big emotional wrench" in leaving Alleghany, which he regards as a sort of "corporate Marine Corps." Son of a Portland, Me., chiropodist, Ireland himself was a genuine World War II hero in the Marines, which he joined after finishing Bowdoin. At 30, he joined the mercurial Robert Young at Alleghany as its $7,500-a-year secretary and counsel. Within three years, as Young and Partner Kirby immersed themselves in the long proxy battle that won them control of the Central from the Vanderbilt family, Ireland was running the store singlehanded...
...Reader Preston keep her wits about her. Chiropodist Dr. A. U. Johnson of Midland, Texas, has taken the tips off little toes of a couple of hundred people...