Word: christe
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Gayheart, Chad Christ...
...first person I decided to investigate was me, mostly because I was right there. The Antichrist, Falwell explained later, was Jewish because he was going to seem a lot like Christ, probably between 23 and 33 years old. Check. Also, not long ago, I had long flowing hair much like Jesus'. And though, like many Jews, my carpentry skills are weak, I recently learned to spackle. As far as turning the other cheek, in my one fight, in 11th grade, I kind of just stood there while a guy punched me in the face. Jesus had some kind of relationship...
Most of me hoped I was not the Antichrist, partly because it sounded antisocial, but mostly because it seemed like hard work. Leading the world? Uniting countries? Taking on Christ? I'll stick to asking celebrities if they'll sleep with me, thank...
...part of me hoped I was. Because I would definitely be the center of attention at my high school reunion. "Yeah, Keri, I like it. There's a lot of paperwork, but mostly it's making speeches, erasing borders and working on my butt-kicking moves for the big Christ fight. Here's my card, babe. Call...
...part) and Adam Sandler. Yes, Adam Sandler. The actor who somehow got more than 20 million people to see The Waterboy. The guy who captured America with a character who rhymed words ending in -tion. Wasn't a man who slugged Bob Barker just one small step from jumping Christ in an alley? So, Jer, let's bag Sandler. And if we're wrong, at least he won't make any more films...