Word: clappings
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...tear to the eye. The sight of young love shattered by a seductive transvestite really shakes your confidence in our system of monogamy. Consider the following friendly advice: If your significant other asks you to appear on the Jerry Springer Show, you might want to get tested for the clap. She or he is going to confess to countless affairs with members of the opposite, same and ambiguous sex. While on the program, the fact that you've had a few dalliances with barnyard animals should not mitigate your moral indignation. You should express outrage at your betrayal, probably...
...unfortunate result of such planned encores is that bad groups often give encores regardless of mediocre audience response. In some cases, groups whose performances merit more than one encore will give only one, conveniently turning up house lighting to quell audience members mid-clap. How better to tell you fans "Sorry, but we only expected one encore. We didn't plan anything else...
Sometimes the Nagano Games could seem less dynamic than aerodynamic as competitors muttered about clap skates and luge "booties" and strips on speed skaters' uniforms that helped them fly. But all the machinery in the world couldn't erase the piercing human moments: Harada, with his back against the temporary wall of a cafeteria, after his failure to win gold in the normal hill jump, a copy of the results sheet in a glove that said JAPAN; or Cammi Granato, the captain of the U.S. women's hockey team, after a black-lacquer disk with gold dust was hung around...
...crowd at last night's concert was in the Caedmon's Call groove, often joining in to clap with the rhythm or standing and swaying to the music...
Purists cry foul. "I liked knowing that I won more on my power and my technique versus what was on my feet and what kind of springs I had," says Olympian Bonnie Blair, who is glad clap skates came after her six Olympic medals. "It doesn't look like they're going back on it. It's time for those youngsters to take over...