Word: clause
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...have a scenario for the never-to-be-made Fred Claus II: the elves unionize, realizing that they get paid even less than the 12-year-old Chinese girls who paint lead onto American kids' toys. If Willie and his pals were to call a work stoppage this Dec. 23, the labor movement could score its first quick victory in decades...
...parents' joy until little Nick came along. They immediately found constant fault with Fred, even as they cheered everything the baby did: giving away his presents to needier kids, jumping down a chimney, chopping down a fir tree that his big brother happened to be perched in. Momma Claus (Kathy Bates) is the same kind of ego-destroyer as Steve Carell's mother is in Dan in Real Life. Her ragging on Fred, while Nick becomes a hero to children every December, leads Fred to spectacular resentment.? In a scene that's way too "ouch" for a PG comedy, grown...
...Every gift handmade by elves." That's the motto at the North Pole. Just about everyone but the Claus family security force is undersize. Midgets (mostly from Russia) man the assembly lines. The village's Security Force comprises three dwarfs who look like Munchkinland's Lollipop Guild, but tougher; they're the Blackwater of little people...
...Paving the soundtrack are a dozen well-chosen seasonal favorites: the Ronettes' "Sleigh Ride," Johnny Mercer's "Jingle Bells," Doris Day's "Here Comes Santa Claus," Elvis' "Santa Claus Is Back In Town," Sinead O'Connor's "Silent Night," Guy Lombardo doing "Auld Lang Syne." My guess is that the movie will disappear, the CD (which hits the stores Nov. 20) will hang around for a few more Christmases. It has something to please every kid from... well, from...
...every land, and at the North Pole. It's all meant to bring edifying moisture to audiences' eyes. The more susceptible moviegoers may shed a tear or two, but they risk hating themselves in the morning. On the upside, they don't have to wait to hate Fred Claus...