Word: clauses
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Panhandlers from the International Society for Krishna Consciousness are a common sight on the streets of American cities. But at this time of year, some members of the sect exchange their saffron robes for red suits and white whiskers and begin chanting a Western mantra: "Ho, ho, ho." Santa Claus may not be a Hindu deity, but the Hare Krishna people have discovered that he has a divine power to attract charitable donations...
...comes at just the right season. Except for the principal actors and St. Luke, no one has done more to create the modern Christmas than Charles Dickens. Scrooge and Tiny Tim are almost as ubiquitous as Santa Claus. Small matter that the Times of London came to blame Dickens and his imitators for "the deluge of trash" that descended on booksellers each Christmas. Dickens' yuletide tales were hungrily awaited by hundreds of thousands; even when pressed by the demands of his novels, the author did not want to omit his annual story and thus "leave any gap at Christmas...
...Jimmy Carter were Santa Claus, the American business community would be asking him for two Christmas gifts. One is a tax cut to stimulate profits, investment and employment. The other is the appointment of an inflation-fighting conservative to head the Federal Reserve Board, preferably the patriarchal incumbent, Arthur F. Burns. Last week the President went halfway; he promised to call for a tax cut in 1978. But the future of the Fed chairmanship remained a tantalizing question...
...Price's mirth-shaking slapstick. But in the right mood, he can quote anything out of context for hilarious effect. Outside the witch's gingerbread house a sign reads: THIS STRUCTURE WILL BE TORN DOWN AND REPLACED BY A NEW 44-STORY COOKIE. The back of Santa Claus' sleigh bears the bumper stickers REGISTER COMMUNISTS, NOT FIREARMS! and LET'S GET THE U.S. OUT OF THE U.N. "That's funny," observes a lady as he goads his reindeer skyward. "For some reason, I always thought of him as a liberal...
...trip is over, you may be convinced that "Jingle Bells" is a song about cash registers, and that green is a traditional Christmas color because people spend huge amounts of money for the holiday. Christmas shopping is here to stay, the department stores insist, and even good ole' Santa Claus will join the mobs eventually...