Word: clauses
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Executives of The Santa Corporation became worried, afraid because those who believed in the ways of the old Claus wanted to return to the old ways, to one day of Christmas a year. And an end to year-round Christmas would mean ruin for the corporation, and an end to the modern Santaland way of life...
...Santa Corporation's plants by the truckload. And while the company kept spewing out holiday paraphernalia like a merry-go-round with no brakes, the Clausists erected a tremendous monument outside the gates of the comapny's main factory. They built high and strong an image of Santa Claus, the long-dead manic sleigh jockey who had become their symbol. And on the pedestal of the figure, they inscribed a long-forgotten and poorly-understood poem that one of the ancients had written about their idol...
...know that Santa Claus doesn't really exist...
...born cynic, I never actually believed in Santa Claus, of course. There were just too many fat, cheery elves in stores and street corners for me to buy the notion that a single Santa ran the whole show. It wasn't until I got to Harvard that my roommates, fools that they were, were convinced by their parents that this red-suited troupe was only a paunch subalterns for the real thing, and that the head honcho would make his annual appearance down the chimney on Christmas Eve. (I also never believed than an amazingly fat man could squeen down...
...Santa Claus is a lucky guy. He has all those little elves to make toys for him so he never has to go Christmas shopping. It's a good thing, because Ole Kris Kringle just wasn't made to squeeze into the revolving doors of department stores, and security guards are naturally suspicious of anybody carrying a big sack like his. And how many department stores would take a check drawn on the North Pole Savings and Trust? Cashing one from a New York bank is tough enough...