Word: clauses
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Chile had an earthquake, Pakistan got a tidal wave, and the United States ended up with Santa Claus. Yet, we have celebrated our disaster and have been too shallow to realize the damage he has done to our moral fiber...
...remember being but a child when Santa Claus was brought to my attention. My contemporaries and I were taught that he was good, so good in fact that he would bring us presents for the hell of it-though it has to be Christmas time. We, like the generations before us, have suffered from this belief in Santa and subsequent disillusionment, but it seems that we have all been unaware of the ill effects; except...
...some six months ago that I realized what was happening, that our society was being torn down by this legendary figure. Pornography and the Commies are severe threats to this country, but Santa Claus seems to be the most severe. If this nation acts, perhaps we can save those who are not yet three years old. But we cannot wait. Massive funds must be appropriated for the crushing of Santa Claus; there is no room for partisan politics...
...need the money for programs to fight our grave drug problem, you may argue. Well, what better way than to destroy Santa Claus? Why do you think our generation has turned to drugs, and those before us to alcohol? Depression, disillusionment, that's why. Children are brought up to believe in the Santa myth, to trust in his actual existence, and then are told that this source of goodness does not exist. This withdrawal is a very upsetting experience. Youth must turn somewhere, and drugs provide the answer. A boy seeks a replacement in his neighborhood pusher-who, incidentally, probably...
...about juvenile delinquency? Understandably, some youths react not with depression but with anger. They have been cheated, and they lash out at the world which deceived them; they attack the society that created the Santa lie. Obviously, anticrime measures might better be anti-Claus bills. In conclusion, our entire social program could just be dropped social program could just about be dropped if we could conquer this root cause...