Word: clergyman
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...dillies until he can't dilly any longer; then he dallies," snapped Manhattan Presbyterian Clergyman Charles Leber. "I honestly don't know of one contribution he has made to the school system since he became superintendent," grumbled a member of the board of education. "We've been pleading with him, we've been begging him-we just couldn't get this guy moving," complained another...
Success in the ministry, says Smith, comes from meticulous conformity to "the right professional stance." A clergyman must never even think, for example, of driving a red Corvette convertible. For beginning preachers, a black, two-door Falcon is ideal; a dark green Chevy II with automatic transmission is "safe" for the pastor of a small congregation. But a substantial urban congregation may expect its minister to drive something a bit larger and less austere, such as a blue Mercury Comet or a Pontiac Tempest...
...Personal Pronoun. "The most important one piece of equipment the aspiring clergyman will acquire," says Smith, "is a wife. She must not be beautiful, stylish or sexy. The best approach to the problem of clerical mate selection is to imagine that you are planning to employ an assistant pastor...
...rising clergyman can win a reputation for wisdom in his sermons by using such phrases as "Christ-centered" and "faith of our fathers." Another favorite phrase is "holiness unto the Lord. No one has a clue to what this means, but it is one of the most soul-satisfying phrases in the lexicon." References to sin and sinners are always welcome, for they conjure up "images of orgies and black lingerie." Nothing makes the congregation feel so good as singing hymns like C. Austin Miles's In the Garden, which mentions the first personal pronoun 27 times...
Nivola's playground has been open long enough to gauge its success. Grownups are negative. A neighborhood priest deplores the possibility of a child tumbling off a fountain. A nearby housewife thinks it may all be obscene. A local clergyman says frankly: "This art escapes me." The kids? They all seem to love it. "Swings are for babies," says one seven-year-old lad. "I'm not a baby any more...