Word: client
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Chip (he likes us to call him that)was personally overseeing this case, and I was the lead analyst. The client: a global pharmaceutical company based in Kyrgyzstan...
...next tough transition was crossing Iraq. I was shot down twice over the stupid no-fly zone! I finally arrived in Kyrgyzstan only to realize I did not speak Kyrgyzstani. No problem. The client had an escort waiting for me at the port, and he spoke flawless pig Latin, the global language of choice for consultants...
...There are three major factors to consider when strategizing for global growth in the spring semester course market," CSMG's founding partner, Benedict Arnold '97, explained to me as he unfolded several 20 by 24-inch bar graphs onto an easel in my bedroom for a colorful client presentation. "Costs, customers and competitors. This seminar on early Hebrew literature might look interesting, for example, but when we perform a cost-benefit analysis, we see that the amount of boredom actually increases as the course progresses, while your projected grade decreases. The course's consumer base is suspiciously small, so before...
Case 3: I am faced with an evening in which I have nothing to do. I could, of course, read for my newly-chosen Economics courses. Or I could use my time to cover my roommate's entire desk with toothpaste. As a globally competitive client, I am not intimidated by this emerging market of available time. No, I am challenged by the prospect of expanding my personal business. But how to do it? It was a case for McFlimsy and Company...
...globally competitive client, I did not appreciate this consultation. Of course, The Harvard College Guide to Consulting had warned me: "As you can imagine, clients don't always want to hear what consultants have to say." I informed Pilate his strategy was inhibiting my global growth. Pilate chortled again and made several more rude comments concerning my personal appearance. After consulting with a rival consultant from the same company, I decided to terminate the client-consultant relationship. Pilate, glad to wash his hands of it, went downstairs to consult my neighbor on Mesopotamian divorce contracts...