Word: coke
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Kennedy was drinking from a two-liter Cokebottle when he finally snapped. He climbed to thetop of the Lampoon's tower, threw open the windowsand shared his Coke with the parties below...
...covered with mind-numbingly stupid slogans. Harvard is supposed to be full of intelligent, discerning human beings; people who delight in scorning the low-brow indulgences of consumer culture. How has it come, then, that we are daily bombarded with home-grown jingles that make meaningless TV ejaculations like "Coke Is It," seem thankfully creative by comparison...
...hard to discern just how much pure LSD is involved. But the government should try a bit harder that this. Weighing the vessel the acid is in and using that as the actual weight of the drug is analogous to busting someone at Customs in Miami for coke possession and then including the weight of the 727 that they flew in on. There is, as we all know, no glut of prison cells in America; the justice system chooses who will fill them with the severity of sentences that it hands down. Having non-violent kids whose drugs weren...
...also not completely to blame here. Having cut their teeth (and having had every other appendage forcibly removed) during the South American Conflict with Coke, many agents learned that anyone who stands between the world's richest nation and its favorite supply of drugs is going to end up with facial features a la Picasso at best and dismembered at worst...
...more. In a misguided business decision that may be remembered as the sporting world's answer to the 1985 roll-out of the new Coke, the major-league owners voted last week, 27-1, to cheapen, if not destroy, all future September pennant races. Beginning next year, both the American and the National leagues will be divided into three -- rather than the existing two -- divisions. To create an additional, ersatz round of league play-offs as an offering unto the Gods of Television (ABC and NBC, who will split the postseason telecasts), the owners agreed to let losers stumble into...