Word: column
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...Matt Tupper, who has an extraordinarily healthy heart, prostate and ability to sustain an erection and is also president of Pom Wonderful. We met at an expensive restaurant and discussed, over delicious Pomtinis, what kind of deal we could cut. I reminded him that children are often assigned this column as classroom reading and that many assistants of high-level executives spend their downtime at work searching for my old articles. I asked him how much it would have been worth to have Mark Twain write The Celebrated Pom Wonderful of Pom Wonderful County. Those Pomtinis are strong...
...prepared to have Tupper reject me. Instead, he offered $25,000. I was hoping for about a quarter of that, and I was expecting it less in cash and more in posters and caps. A $25,000 check would more than cover the entire cost of this column, even including the dinner I claimed I had with him both in the paragraph above and on my expense report. I quickly accepted the check on TIME's behalf, promising that I'd subtly work his 100% American-made, antioxidant superpower juice into my column in a way no one would ever...
...Oddly, I thought that was what I was doing this whole time. Instead, all my efforts did was teach me exactly why the proud, antediluvian print-journalism companies are in financial trouble. Not only is Time Inc. turning down $25,000, but it's employing three editors for this column...
...Emma M. Lind ’09, a former Crimson editorial chair, is a history and literature concentrator in Winthrop House. Her column appears on alternate Fridays...
...Christopher B. Lacaria ’09, a Crimson editorial writer, is a history concentrator in Kirkland House. His column appears on alternate Thursdays...