Word: condimented
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That was until Monday, when, seven months after the New Year, H. J. Heinz decided to drop a bombshell on an American public: In an attempt to recapture the Nickelodeon market, the Pittsburgh-based condiment giant is planning to introduce green - yes, green! - ketchup in October of this year...
...some unknown reason the folks over at Heinz didn't - green is really an unfortunate choice for a condiment. First of all, there's the relish association. Relish, as far as I can tell, is the bastard child of cut-rate mustard and those icky sweet pickles...
...trio see the fall, they can thank a young fan base with little better to do than badger TV execs, abetted by websites, the fanatic's best friend. Roswellians sent the WB thousands of bottles of Tabasco sauce, a favorite condiment of the aliens. (WB flacks reshipped bottles to TV critics nationwide.) Felicityphiles have sent in cassettes like the ones Felicity mails to her friend Sally--and, creepily, locks of their own hair--and crashed WB servers with e-mail. Meanwhile, Freaks freaks are sending peanuts to networks that may buy the show (a favorite character on the show...
...aftermath of the incident, rumor has it that the Democratic Party has decided to make condiment control a key issue in last-minute ad campaigns for Tuesday's elections. Meanwhile, the parents of the victims in Colorado can only shake their heads and wonder...
Gardiner also eats a lot of Tabasco Sauce. Through her mother, whose maiden name is McIlhenny, Gardiner is a direct descendant of the inventor of the spicy pepper condiment. The family still makes the sauce on Avery Island, Louisiana, after which Gardiner was named...