Word: condom
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Dorms Might Get Condom Dispensers...
University Health Services has reason to believe that a sizable number of the condoms inserted in the March 4th edition of Perspective have been tampered with so as to pose a serious health hazard. Traces of chloromethedrine-5 have been detected o the rim an inner lining of the prophycoughing. Do not use these condoms. If you have experienced any skin contact with these condoms immediately report to the basement of Harvard Hall with the condom to which you have suffered exposure. A UPS medical team will be on hand for free testing...
...writing to clarify comments attributed to me in a story on March 2 regarding The Perspective's plan to distribute a condom with this month's issue...
...freshmen started Spermbusters, a condom delivery service, in the fall of 1985. But Harvard shut down the young firm, citing a rule prohibiting students from operating businesses in their dorm rooms...
...imagine, for example, a hypothetical condom with the words "Rutger Fury!" printed liberally all over the box, wrapper, and condom proper. Not only will sex become more pleasurable for the user with such an exciting message prominently displayed, but the consumer will form pleasurable associations with my name. After this I would only have to put my name on any other shoddy product to rake in dollars like so many dead leaves...