Word: condoms
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Even suburbia is getting into the act. When I arrived home for Thanksgiving, I asked my sister what was new at her school. "We put condoms on wooden penises in English class today," she informed me. I learned that my alma mater, Roslyn High School, located on Long Island's North Shore, has become the first school district outside New York City to distribute condoms in addition to thorough condom education. What an honor...
...turns out that NBC and News 12 Long Island had run the story. Newsday did a cover piece called "Condom Handout." The principal heralded "a new era of condom availability." All in all, it was a big sensation topped by a press conference and a tour of the school nurse's office where the fish bowl of condoms is to sit. Everyone was pleased that they were saving the world from AIDS. But in the process, administrators missed the bigger picture of what's wrong with sex today...
...urging abstinence as a policy to reduce teenage pregnancy. It will not do, of course. Teenagers will no more abstain from sex than will the frisking neighborhood dogs, and it is fatuous, punitive, Neanderthal to expect them to; the best that adult authority can do is to distribute condoms to the beasts and hope they will pause long enough to slip one on before their urgencies of crotch propel them into the hedge. If they do not take the precaution, well, then, the fallback: a morning's visit to the abortionist. Melancholy, perhaps...
...competition was thick even before Kids was screened. That director Larry Clark's film still commanded the spotlight was a tribute to its American distributor, Miramax films, and its cunning boss, hype master Harvey Weinstein, who chose to see the film as a crusade for condom use. "Very few films have the ability to change the way people act," he says. "Hopefully this one will shock parents into doing something to help their children...
...exclaiming, "Oh, that Whoopi is so funny!" We also found several used diapers. After a showing of "Thunderheart," in which Val Kilmer (!) stars as a half-Indian detective who returns to the reservation to solve a crime, we found an empty bottle of cheap Canadian whisky and a used condom...