Word: confession
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There are essentially three basic models from which Jerry derives his daily spectacle. One, angry black Americans confront the Ku Klux Klan. Two, partners confess that they are less than faithful. And finally, my personal favorite, husbands attempt to convince their stripper wives to hang up their G-strings. Allow me to elaborate on the full splendor of these seemingly simple templates that form the groundwork of Jerry's genius...
...young love shattered by a seductive transvestite really shakes your confidence in our system of monogamy. Consider the following friendly advice: If your significant other asks you to appear on the Jerry Springer Show, you might want to get tested for the clap. She or he is going to confess to countless affairs with members of the opposite, same and ambiguous sex. While on the program, the fact that you've had a few dalliances with barnyard animals should not mitigate your moral indignation. You should express outrage at your betrayal, probably by throwing a chair...
Well I have to confess that I eat McDonalds andBurger king and others when I travel in thiscountry because I go back to see my mother in Iowaand my in-laws live in Illinois and drive back andforth between Illinois and southwest Iowa a coupletimes a year, and I usually stop along the roadjust to find out what's going...
...know. I like certain things ineach. I have to confess I love McDonald's fries,but everybody loves McDonald's fries. They'reunparalleled! But I make a point of eating in allthe other places to keep up. I'm interested indoing a project on not just McDonald's in EastAsia, but the entire fast food system, in Europeand Russia, too. I'm going as a visiting professorthis spring to the University of Paris and Iintend to take that as an opportunity not just tohave some great French food in restaurants, but tocheck out the indigenous fast food rivals toMcDonald...
...your hotel. The needle on the gas meter is on the running-on-fumes side of EMPTY, and there's even an exclamation mark shining crimson on the dashboard. But Campbell, preternaturally polite, continues blithe small talk. "Is that band the Cult still together?" she asks. You confess that when it comes to '80s goth-metal bands, you're no trivia master. She continues, "I went for coffee with this guy who was in the Cult, and I was wondering if they were still doing anything." The needle dips further. You're close enough to the hotel...