Word: confetti
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...butterfly ballot flew away with the presidency this year, and it is well nigh time for election procedure to enter the 21st century along with the rest of the country. The signs of the time demand attention: The word "chad" has replaced "confetti" as the popular term for "small piece of paper" and thousands of votes, in counties from Palm Beach in Florida to Cook County in Illinois, were discarded due to appropriately labeled "voting irregularities" and double punching...
...with this election. All of a sudden Florida is a kingdom of hallucinations, an elaborate legal speculation on what the voter's intention was - the world's greatest power prize hanging on a punch-out confetti of chads and the interpretation of dimples. Now you see it (the presidency), now you don't. Magicians with law degrees pull votes out of hats, or double-bottomed suitcases. Ballots flutter in and out of the process like butterflies...
...because they felt it was obsolete. And take pity on the poor foreign-news outlets as they try to translate "pregnant chad." Parlo.com a languages website, offered suggestions: in Cantonese, dye toad tsee (big stomach paper); in German, schwanger Stanzabfall (pregnant punch waste); and in Russian, beremennaya confette (pregnant confetti...
...Bush, that's now a matter of opinion. He's now been declared the Florida winner three times (pending litigation). And he's just declared himself the next president of the United States, albeit without the bunting and confetti. Let Gore explain to the American people why he's still suing to prolong this race...
...light, attempting to channel the voter who may or may not have meant to punch all the way through the flimsy card. We are told of "hanging chads," pieces of the ballot where the stylus should have punched all the way through and detached a small round confetti-like piece of paper, but instead leave the piece hanging by a cellulose thread. These chads, among other problems with the paper ballots, cause vote counting machines to have, by one estimate, margins of error at about 2 percent to 5 percent (the election right now is hinging on about 0.005 percent...