Word: corns
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...OUTRAGED AT YOUR PRINTING OF Keillor's piece on Thanksgiving. I almost choked to death while eating my jellied cranberry sauce. Garrison cooked a delightful stuffing of philosophical musings, corn-pone anecdotes and downright slapstick jokes. A milestone hoot. PAT STEPHENSON Prairie Village, Kansas
...dinner is what is on your mind, and you don't care about game laws, turkeys are dead easy. Just throw some corn on the ground. They will come. You will shoot them. That is what happened a century and a half ago, and turkeys were so unwily that by the end of the 19th century they were within a tick of extinction, with only about 30,000 birds hiding out in swamps and hollows across the continent. The 7,000 birds that now roam New Hampshire are the descendants of 25 individuals trapped in New York's mountains...
...critter. Deep snow and deep forest defeat them. They gobble insects in the warm months, occasionally in the median strips of rural interstate highways. But they get through winters, or don't, foraging for barberries, rose hips, wild apples, sumac, juniper, sedges and fern. What they really like is corn wastage at winter-bound dairy farms and sunflower seeds policed from beneath suburban bird feeders...
...neighbors across Old Main Street, Carlton and Maggie, regularly throw corn on a big rock in their side yard, and last week the turkey flock they consider their own made its annual reappearance. There are 16 birds this year, hens and gobblers, milling about in an inch of new snow. A parked car doesn't bother them, but if you try to approach on foot, they sound their alarm call, "putt," or "putt-putt," and wander off into the woods in a not very alarmed fashion. Real alarm would send them running at about 25 m.p.h. or flying...
...never once. For this is the world of Christian fiction, where the Almighty works in less than mysterious ways: a savage avenger to the wicked, an infinitely thoughtful deity to those who worship him, a parent capable of providing every little thing, down to hot corn bread. Christian fiction has been around as long as people have wanted stories with no explicit sex (and almost none implicit), no bad words, virtually no violence--except, of course, when God is on the warpath. But in the '90s, this tidy cottage industry has become big business dominated by evangelical Protestantism...