Word: corns
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Holsteins are hardworking Danish cows who make it possible for well-disciplined families to earn a living from ground not good enough to grow corn or soybeans. Dairying is not a sentimental line of work, however, and a cow's productivity chart hangs by the stall where she can see it: she knows that when her output declines she's dead meat; retraining will not be an option. Dogs and cats, when hunting became too hard, retrained as house pets, but a large hoofy animal that chews its own vomit will never be welcome in the American home...
Even the ranks of collegiate sports could not escape the nasty bite of controversy in the O.J. era. The travesty that is the NCAA football bowl game system slammed another nail into its own coffin by ending the season with two undefeated teams, Nebraska and Penn State. The Corn-huskers won both national polls to claim the national championship but Joe Paterno's boys were much worthier than runner...
DIED. ORVILLE REDENBACHER, 88, popcorn potentate; in Coronado, California. His persona on TV spots made him an icon of, well, pure corn: the crisp bow tie, the Alfalfa-style hair, the good-natured geekiness. But beneath this hayseed hucksterism, Orville Redenbacher was the Luther Burbank of popcorn. The decades he devoted to the staple food of double features produced a gourmet hybrid that exploded to twice the size and twice the sales of its competitors...
...really good feeling to see the end result [of the group's work]," Bangle said, describing people eating produce at the farmers' market. "There were women going five feet away and chomping into sweet corn and kids hocking into watermelons...
...media will be transformed as Minnesota buys up networks and cable companies. News will be less about politics and more about civilization--history, art, literature and sweet corn. And creamed onions. The movie business, as Minnesota buys major studios, will start to make pictures in which snow occurs as a normal part of life. Movies in which there is less machine gunning and car bombing and more scenes in which people enjoy a good meal and tell jokes...