Word: cosmo
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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Sylvester Stallone has become Hollywood's self-appointed poet of the simple-minded. He speaks Brooklynese, and diamonds of wisdom in the form of dese, dems and dats stream out of Cosmo, Stallone's character in Paradise Alley ("Nature's a funny thing"). Directed and written by Stallone (he even bellows the theme song), Paradise Alley invites comparisons with Rocky...
...Hell's Kitchen of 1946, Paradise Alley tells the story of three close-knit Italian brothers who are able to break out of New York's slums on the strength of faith, perseverance and the fortunate circumstance that one happens to be an excellent wrestler. Stallone's Cosmo is an aspiring hustler who let his hair grow and donned an earring to avoid the draft. He is supposed to be an eccentric, funny, loveable guy, with a kind heart and an abundance of home-spun wisdom. Stallone, however, fails to give his character any depth. Cosmo is an amalgamation...
...Cosmo convinces Victor (Lee Canalito), the brother long on muscle and short on brains, to make them some money by fighting at a wrestling joint, Paradise Alley. He is the familiar good-natured idiot, in the vein of Lenny in Steinbeck's Of Mice...
...embalmer (why doesn't he take advantage of the numerous benefit programs for WW II vets?). Initially opposed to the idea of Victor's wrestling, Lenny succumbs to his desire for money and encourages Victor to fight. He pushes him mercilessly. It is the saintly Cosmo who, realizing the error of his own ways, tries to stop Victor from driving himself too hard...
Take Victor's match with Freddy the Thumper, for instance. Victor goes down after 22 rounds. He only gets up because Freddy starts beating up Cosmo. This motivates him to win the match, which, we learn later, he had intended to lose because he was disturbed by the squabbling between his brothers his wrestling caused. "Why did you wait until the 22nd round if you were going to throw the match?" Cosmo asks. Victor replies, "Because I was born on the 22nd." Even Victor could not be dumb enough to get himself stomped on for 22 rounds for that reason...