Word: coulds
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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...release of all Harvard films. I can envision "Love Story" becoming the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" of the '90's, especially if Crimson Key members fan out around the country and supply additional lines as they do for all first-year students. "Soul Man" and "The Paper Chase" could draw a lot of funds for Harvard Law School. Who could ask for a more vibrant spokesperson than John Houseman...
...Actually, that's just what the fundraising effort needs---celebrity spokespeople. Derek Bok is a big name in the academia, but he's no Bart Giamatti. Think of all of the money that a real star could generate. Look at Bill Cosby sucking in millions for Temple University. Maybe we could negotiate a deal with America's second best Dad, Michael Gross, from "Family Ties." I'm sure that he isn't doing much these days...
...Jane Fonda would be the perfect celebrity to lead the Harvard Protest Fund Drive. She could join forces with all three of Harvard's student activists and picket major American businesses. They could chant "Hey, hey, ho, ho, what we need is lots of dough," and pass around little tin cups for contributions...
...Junk Bond Fund Drive. Derek Bok could lead a group of aspiring student financiers to Wall Street with enough of Harvard's endowment to buy out the Trump Shuttle. After renaming it the Harvard Shuttle, and promising that it will run on time, they could build a runway behind Soldier's Field...
...stop with the Trump shuttle? With the monstrous amount of cash in the endowment, Harvard could become the most feared corporate raider since Trump himself. We could buy the Holiday Inn chain and refurbish the rooms with blocked- in fireplaces, extra-- long beds, and light fixtures that resemble giant glowing alka-seltzer tablets...