Word: cousin
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Since I, unlike Weber, wasn't willing to subsist on lentils and superiority, I called my cousin Josh Burd, who will one day be rewarded with a MacArthur "genius" grant for coupon-clipping, which he will then exchange for three Fulbrights and a night at a Marriott. Years ago, by combining coupons, discounts, rebates and a CVS Extra Bucks card, he actually got paid $3 to buy a product that accentuates the curls of black women. He still owns that product, with the vague hope of befriending a black woman and inventing a time machine that goes back...
...stuff until 1997, when their parents divorced, Leon left the church, and the mostly homeschooled, God-fearing sons went tumbling into the temptations of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. The group's first release, the EP Holy Roller Novocaine, came out in 2003, shortly after the brothers grabbed cousin Matthew (guitar) from Mississippi and everyone learned how to play his instrument...
Umbrellas belong to a special class of items. They are vastly useful to everyone, but, unlike their size-specific cousin, the raincoat, they are not individualized. There are no “left-handed” umbrellas or “gluten-free” umbrellas. They are the everyman of protection from the elements. Consider the case of a lost pencil. You are rummaging in your bag to surreptitiously text someone, but then your eyes dart to an abandoned light-green pencil right under your seat. Of course you take it. Who is going to frantically come running into...
...risk factor associated with compulsive gambling. “A lot of times, when people think ‘gambling,’ they think ‘gambling your savings away,’ or playing with money you can’t afford to lose. My cousin asked me the other day, ‘So, can you sit down at the table and lose your house?’ It’s a legitimate question, but it’s taken a while to explain to my parents that if you do it properly, it?...
...named for Jessica Lunsford, the Florida girl who was kidnapped and killed in 2005 by a convicted sex offender. Lunsford was born in Hoyle's district and attended school in the tiny town of Dallas, where Hoyle lives. He still talks to her father regularly; her cousin will serve as a senate page for Hoyle next year...