Word: cowed
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...wonder P.J. O'Rourke loves being a writer. He can sleep late. There's no heavy lifting. And, unlike being a shortstop, he quips, writing is a lifelong occupation. Still, he never imagined he would have to play Cupid to a cow...
...George, his neighbor in New Hampshire, needed some help getting his heifer in the family way. So, while O'Rourke grabbed the cow's head and George hugged the middle, a farmer named Pete proceeded with the artificial insemination at the far end. Though he missed most of the intimate details, O'Rourke recalls one thing: "I will never forget the look on that cow's face." That same look, for just about the same reason, appeared on his face when he examined last year's federal farm bill, which, he claims, "does to the taxpayer what Pete, George...
Bolivia and Peru. The coca cash cow continues to feed the economies of both countries, providing peasant farmers with a lucrative crop. Bolivia obtains more than a third of its $1.2 billion in foreign exchange from cocaine, while Peru gets about a quarter of its $4 billion. Although both nations would like to cease their dependence on cocaine, they dare not press too strongly for fear of provoking civil unrest. In Bolivia the use of U.S. troops in 1986 to destroy drug labs sparked violent protests. Peru's new President, Alberto Fujimori, fearful of pushing recruits into the arms...
...annual per capita consumption of chicken alone has risen from 40 lbs. in 1970 to more than 70 lbs. this year. Unfortunately, mass-production techniques make many poultry farms and plants prime breeding grounds for salmonella. Different strains of the bacteria can contaminate eggs as well as meat. (Raw cow's milk can also be tainted, but beef is less of a problem than poultry because the slaughtering process is cleaner...
...fact, I know the appropriate reward for anyone who will call me and claim to have tipped a cow. But the reward doesn't come in stacks of hundreds...