Word: cows
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DIED. RICHARD MARSH, 58, veterinary virologist who in the mid-1980s sounded an early warning that bovine spongiform encephalopathy, or mad-cow disease, could be spread through feed containing cattle by-products; of cancer; in Middleton, Wisconsin...
Amidst the normal tux-like dining hall dress-up attire, some dancers spotted Princess Leia, Darth Vader and a cow...
...rates were steep, but its results were guaranteed. Only superior cattle with modified immune systems were used--cows being the cross-species surrogate of choice. (No cow will ever phone the National Enquirer with juicy palimony exclusives.) Clonees were allowed up to five babies per surrogate mom (no womb sharing). Those wishing more than five received generous volume-discount rates...
...quietly checked into an exclusive (naturally) cow-based Saskatchewan cloning spa--a spa combining the best of Saskatchewan's cattle country with Canada's lax cloning laws. My p.r. staff told folks I was up in the fresh air of Lake Tahoe battling chronic-fatigue syndrome triggered by silicone migration--a plausible alibi if ever there...
...Saskatchewan facility was top news for weeks; no doubt the rustlers would be on extra guard now. After Lori spoke with her crystallographer, ChrySanda, in North Hollywood, we roamed northern Montana on an "energy hunch." When we showed up in small-town cafes and feedlots to show photos of cow No. 388 (Lori's brood) and No. 441 (mine), we invariably created a sensation--the old good/evil polarity, plus, well, we were and are stars. Citizens were both righteous and helpful, and we always drove away feeling bathed in love of the common man. Sigh...