Word: craniumed
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...does. In showing the world's first fratricide, Fry has the psychotically jealous Cain pick up an ass's jawbone-si, si, Samson, an ass's jawbone-and bash Abel. The jawbone was custom-built out of hard rub ber. Cain missed Abel's upper cranium the first time he used it, and the scene had to be interrupted for nearly a week until the black and blue patch subsided...
...stripe suits of recognized quality (perhaps also a pipe), adopts his middle name for use colloquially (reserving his first initial as a prefix to his universally respected signature), and enters Harvard. Once here, he soon verses himself in Henry James, and obtains a lock of hair from the cranium of F. L. Seidel, himself a great Advocate critic a couple of years ago, a man than which there was no meaner Martini mixer. Experience becomes instinct, and criticism is much easier than it looks: reject stories written by those who are not your friends, particularly unwashed people; accept stories containing...
...science of roommate-choosing has its roots in darkest antiquity. Neanderthal man used the purely pragmatic approach, testing his prespective cavemate's worth by applying repeated delicate blows of the club to the latter's cranium. Although clubs today profess to more advanced methods of social scrutiny, the general idea has remained the same throughout the dim search of Man for Friend...
...first Caucasian collective farm, Douglas ran into the problem of the vodka toast, decided then and there that he would stick to wine for the duration. When other hosts proudly laid a sheep's head and ear before him, Douglas manfully nibbled some meat from atop the cranium (quite tasty) and the center of the ear (quite gristly). This was only the ceremonial dish in what sometimes stretched into a 21-course meal. After some feasts, entertainment followed, and the guest was expected to reciprocate. Douglas, a onetime Yale law professor, kicked out some pretty fair Cossack polkas...
...enthusiast named Carl Rosenbaum. Two nights after Haydn's funeral in 1809, Rosenbaum took a shovel, a lantern and a brace of helpers to the fresh grave. When he left, he carried Haydn's head under his arm. His purpose: to save the great man's cranium for the study and admiration of future phrenologists...