Word: craps
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...Hart Office Building and walk into Tester's new office, it is hard not to feel like a family that's gotten picked for the bizarro version of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, in which people come to your house and, in just 48 hours, make it look like crap. Whereas once Tester had high ceilings and period details, now he has cubicles and modular furniture. It's just not Senator-worthy. Tester notices my disappointment and says grimly, "This is more functional. If I were choosing on aesthetics, I'd own a different tractor." And, perhaps, a different haircut...
...know those supersales at your local department store in which they offer great deals on a couple of things in the hopes of getting enough people in the door so they can move the crap too? That's sort of what the Treasury Department and Tim Geithner are doing with the bank plan that was rolled out on Monday...
Netdisaster allows you to release all of your pent up, passive aggressive anger on websites you despise. It's the technological equivalent of drawing devil horns on a poster, or throwing darts at your archenemy's photo. Have you been recently laid off? Go take a crap on your former employer! Ex-boyfriend send you a malicious email? Hit his blog with a nuclear weapon. It's really fun, especially when you find a good headshot of Bill O'Reilly and have access to a fake banana cream pie. Also...
...shares takes that collateral and invests it in something with low risk and of short duration, like commercial paper. The lender is exposed to some risk, but it usually isn't catastrophic. However, AIG took the collateral and invested in longer-term, higher-risk mortgage- and asset-backed securities. "Crap," as a portfolio lending expert describes them. When those securities crashed in value...
...purchased 50 BigBelly cans of the Wall-E sort. You know, the kind that squishes incoming trash in cute little cubes, emits aww-inducing mechanical noises, and...well, ok, they're not that adorable. They just text message the waste management people when they're full of crap...