Word: crashing
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...sympathetic sorts. And anyone who's not a major character is called for icing by Mr. Freeze, or blithely sideswiped by Speed 2's Bullock during the most deplorable driving-test scene in film history. Something is wrong with Hollywood if the answer to every story problem is a crash. Even the otherwise canny Disney cartoon Hercules has an isn't-it-funny-that-a-whole-Greek-marketplace-falls-down scene...
WASHINGTON, D.C.: The truth, or at least the Air Force's version of it, is now out there in the form of a 231-page report concluding that the "alien bodies" recovered at the Roswell, New Mexico crash site were dummies used in parachute tests. Conspiracy buffs were quick to note that the report didn't solve all, since Air Force records show the dummies were not used until a good decade after the 1947 Roswell incident. Coupled with a 1994 report that said the "flying saucer" found in 1947 was actually an Air Force balloon used to monitor...
...alien society is anything like ours in its leanings toward tragicomedy, the most believable explanation may come from Kristin Corn, the daughter of Hub and Sheila Corn, ranchers whose property 30 or so miles outside of Roswell is home to one of the alleged crash sites (Sheila offers pleasantly homespun tours at $15 a head). Kristin's theory: the crash was caused by alien teenagers who slipped away from a mother ship and went for a joyride, little knowing that alleged film of one of their autopsies would one day appear on the same network as World's Scariest Police...
...positing a government conspiracy with limitless resources, the more fervent believers in the Myth also inoculate themselves against heresy: any concrete evidence the government or anyone else unearths to prove that the crash was strictly terrestrial is obviously engineered--it's a cannier brand of fundamentalism. The appearance of skeptical articles in a national magazine like this one could be part of a disinformation campaign to distract letter-to-the-editor-writing UFOlogists from more fruitful pursuits. For all you know, this author may be a member of an ultra-top-secret National Security Council committee with a terribly spooky...
HOSPITALIZED. VLADIMIR KONSTANTINOV, 30, popular defenseman for the Detroit Red Wings, which won the National Hockey League championship on June 7; with life-threatening head injuries after a car crash; in Royal Oak, Mich. Konstantinov, who came to Detroit in 1991 from the Soviet Central Red Army club, was a passenger in a limo driven by a man whose license had been revoked...