Word: creamed
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...believe. "311 democratizes the system," says Charles Sturcken of the city's department of environmental protection, which monitors 18 categories of noise. One result is a new noise-control bill making its way through the city council that would rework regulations on everything from car alarms to ice cream trucks--and require that construction sites have noise-reduction plans. Some of those noise complaints also shed light on an old problem: unlicensed, makeshift bars. But which calls were just about illegal clubs, and which were about rowdy neighbors? New York City's 311 staff, working with half a dozen agencies...
...according to a report in The Crimson last week, ice cream sales in the Square have decreased titanically with the onset of winter. When the going got tough, it seems, Harvard students found something better to do than feed themselves on delicious ice cream...
When Method Man, whose experiences with Crimson-tinted hypocrisy were well-chronicled in 2001’s How High, was prompted to scream for ice cream on Raekwon the Chef’s stunning solo debut seven years earlier, did he bounce to Brain Break? Of course not. The Shaolin soldier wasted no time before warning the world’s cool confectioners that “French vanilla, butter pecan, chocolate deluxe—even caramel sundaes—is getting touched and scooped in my ice cream trucks,” and the world is a better place...
Harvard students should drop everything to follow the example of these great forebears at once, with a cherry on top. The benefits of ice cream consumption in the winter months are at least as well-demonstrated as some other more controversial hypotheses mentioned recently on campus. Ice cream, for instance, is healthy, containing absolutely no fat or sugar. Eating ice cream in January or February is the only surefire way to vaccinate against frostbite—and who wants to get frostbite? And as many can attest, watching objects of desire dine on the mouth-melting treat—cone...
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