Word: creams
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Harvard is a place where the cream of the crop of high school graduates throughout the world anxiously apply, hoping to continue their higher quest for knowledge. Harvard is supposed to be the ideal diverse community, both undergraduate and in the faculty, where one can find students on the extreme left rooming and exchanging ideas with ones on the extreme right...
...They bang away at kettledrums while squeezing tubes of paint onto the drumheads, creating volcanic eruptions of color. They stuff handfuls of Cap'n Crunch cereal into their mouths, then join in a symphony of amplified chomping. They entice an audience member onstage for a banquet of Twinkies; suddenly cream filling spurts out of their chests. By the end of the evening, with strobe lights flashing and electronic music pulsing, the audience is engulfed by a tidal wave of crepe paper streaming from the balcony...
...small grocery store stared bleakly at cans of Finnish sardines, lollipops and American M&M candies. With prices freed, costs soared tenfold against an average salary that stayed at 400 rubles a month: sausage now costs 100 to 200 rubles a kilo (2.2 lbs.), and even sour cream, a Russian staple, goes for 130 rubles a kilo. Said a city council member: "Our energy level is lower because we are not receiving proper nutrition...
...course, some purists may feel that something isn't truly organic unless it looks like pond sludge. Never fear. The Body Shop also carries rough-hewn products like Henna Cream Shampoo, which looks like a jar of copper-colored vaseline mixed with mud, because it contains no artificial colors or color stabilizers. The "Men's Rhassoul Mud Soap" resembles a small cement brick. For women, there's "Wheatscrub Soap", made of wheatgerm and cinnamon, which is supposed to "exfoliate" your skin, and a milk bath that contains oats and avocado oil. Apparently the Body Shop doesn't know the inside...
That being the case, I think I'll go into business this summer. Look for me in Harvard Square, selling 100 percent organic bottled dishwater and soaps made of leftover Cream of Wheat. Given the gullibility of Cambridge yuppies, I'll probably make enough to pay off my student loans...