Word: crimed
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Glorified. The fun part about committing a stupid crime is that the media learns to love you. I would become the darling of the Boston Globe, my hometown newspaper the Monitor, and every supermarket tabloid in existence. The Crimson would practically circulate around me for at least a semester. Headlines would range from, "Psycho Senior Holds Kiosk Roast" to "Rodriguez protests, 'I'm Still Not Sorry!" to "Hewitt Visits Harvard in Anti-Arson Platform." Editorial letters that either give shame to my very existence or staunchly fight for my rights to burn would run nonstop. Gradually, a cult following would...
Busted. Anyone stupid enough to set a kiosk on fire would undoubtedly be caught. Even if I wasn't actually sighted lighting the thing up, with my luck, my scarf would catch fire as I would be trying to run away from the scene of the crime. In addition, all of my closest friends, my favorite TF's, my mother, my grandmother and my hairstylist would be coming out of Grafton Street just in time to see me and scream, "Hey, Sarah! Why's your scarf on fire...
Petrified. The worst part about committing said crime--the attention backfires. My fellow students would nudge each other, laughing and pointing at me as I pass by. I would become an urban legend prefrosh hosts would tell their young'uns about. People would become terrified to smoke with me. But worst of all, I would become the butt of bad kiosk puns: "The kiosks aren't the only things that are smokin'! Come see the Din and Tonics, Friday night...
...newsstand. A pile of the papers ordered for him sits there now. At the nearby police station, the gendarme who knocked on Einhorn's door wonders if ever again he will see "FBI" on the same line as "Champagne-Mouton" in the papers. There hasn't been a single crime in the village since Einhorn's arrest...
...disgusted by Courtney's crass shallowness and utter lack of remorse and is thus ostracized from the group. Truly a person left to "the Karen Carpenter table, "Cue camerapan over to a table containing several emaciatedgirls sitting bleakly with no food in sight. Moresubtly, as the girls create a crime scene in Liz'sbedroom with the corpse, the song blaring in thebackground is, ironically enough. The Cars "LetThe Good Times Roll." It's at those moments whenJawbreaker lives up to the classicdefinition of a "black comedy...