Word: crotch
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Blasphemy just ain't what it used to be. On television every week one WWF wrestler head-butts his opponents in the crotch and then makes the sign of the cross. "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" offers schtick featuring an actor dressed up as Jesus Christ. And the pint-sized, helium-voiced denizens of "South Park" frequently meet up with Christ himself, whether he be hosting a cable-access show or taking on the devil in a wrestling match. These days it seems that an artist/entertainer would have to go pretty far ("Piss Christ," anyone?) before...
...Family Man (co-starring Don Cheadle) and last year's prison drama The Green Mile. In that film, Michael Clarke Duncan plays a superstrong, superdumb MAAF on death row who cures one of his jailers (Tom Hanks) of a urinary-tract infection by laying a magical hand on his crotch. It's probably the only time Duncan will make it to third base on the big screen...
...build the song up from the bottom. The 16 microphones and stands placed around the drum kit looked like something out of Star Wars. In the console Matthew flipped from mike to mike, listening to the sound each captured. They were all remarkably different. My favorite was the "crotch mike." Named after its unusual placement near the drummer, it picks up a dark, distorted sound appropriate for the slower grooves...
...kids! Can you guess what time it is? That's right: it's toon-time! Time to join the wacky bunch of characters in Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation! Join such goofy characters as Radioactive Crotch Man and his squad of Erect Nipple Man, Coma Man and Old Man Man as they battle the forces of the evil Butt Pirate! See how Coko the Junkie Pimp relearns the art of slapping hos after a bout of amnesia! Or find out the true Christmas story in Pussy da Red Nosed Reindeer! Don't wait; start begging...
...believe that you see the true man during his down time, it doesn't speak well for either candidate. Gore tended to freeze ramrod-straight when finished, like a photocopier gone into energy-conservation mode; Bush had a disconcerting tendency to cross his hands in front of his crotch and sway, as though he just realized he'd been hitting the podium-side water a little too heavily. Sorry to be a broken record, but it reinforced the old stereotypes of each man: Gore as machine, Bush as restless first grader...